Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everybody and welcome to 2016. This year is going to be very different for me as I have chosen my New Years resolutions that hopefully I will stick to this time.

1 – Get a job and money
2- Start saving
3 – Start paying rent
4- Get my drivers license

Now, I am pretty sure those are similar to last years but I am really looking forward to this year. For one, I turn 19 and for two, it will be my second year spent with my lovely fiance Lukas. I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas and your New Years celebrations. Let me know some of your resolutions, sorry this is just a short blog but I’ll be coming at you with heaps more this year. I hope you all have enjoyed me so far this year, if there is anyone out there 🙂

Welcome to 2016 and thank you for reading 🙂

‘Tis the Season!

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Tis the season to be jolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Merry Christmas from down under.

It is currently 12:36 a.m on the 24th of December 2015 in Australia and I have yet to buy all my presents. Which means it’s a mad dash in at the shops to buy my boyfriend a present, and I still need to wrap my mums up. I use to just put my name on the card to people my mum had bought presents for so I never really had to worry about it before so maybe Christmas has always been like this, but I say it shouldn’t. If you are spending December worrying about what to get people then don’t get anything, save your money and just give them your time. We live in a society where nobody has any time, we are so busy lately, so this Christmas why don’t we just put away our devices and set aside time to spend with those we love.
Now, people in Australia will know this, but Christmas is not a white Christmas where I’m from. There is no snow, no fire place and no hot chocolate and warm blankets. There are fans and air-conditioners cranked up to their maximum setting, cold water with ice blocks and cold meat and salads with seafood. There is no Christmas ham for lunch, instead there are platters of seafood and barbecues in the shade. For as long as I can remember, Christmas has always been 30 degrees C or higher. Luckily this year Christmas should be 27 degrees C, but that’s no where near snowing.
As a Christian, Christmas becomes a time of not just family and gift giving, but it also becomes a time of celebration and praise. Although our Christ wasn’t born on the 25th of December, we still mark it as a time to celebrate and sing praises. There has been a lot of controversy in my country recently pertaining to Christmas and Christmas carols. In the news recently I read that one of the Members of Parliament on the Eastern side of Australia was talking about removing Christmas Carols that mention God or Jesus. Apparently, in a multicultural country where we are suppose to be respecting all beliefs, our government wants to get rid of Christian Christmas carols but will allow people of other faiths to not have to participate in the Australian anthem.

Anyway, in the Spirit of Christmas, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a spectacular New Year.

Review: Heaven by Virginia Andrews

Heaven, the first book in the Casteel family series written by Virginia Andrews was published in 1985 before the death of Virginia Andrews, who fell victim to Breast Cancer in 1986. Heaven is the second novel series written by Virginia Andrews and follows the life of Heaven Leigh Casteel, a young girl who is raised in the Willies by a poor family in a dilapidated shack. Her father Luke Casteel is a handsome, yet abusive man and her step-mother Sarah is a harsh woman driven mad and hateful by her husbands neglect and abuse. Sarah soon leaves her young children to fend for themselves after the birth of her stillborn child and her mother in law Annie. Heaven is then left in charge of her four younger siblings and her ageing grandfather. Luke Casteel continues to dart in and out in the story, leaving to chase women and dangerous jobs, returning only to bring food just in time before his children starved to death.
Heaven Leigh Casteel manages to find love in this dark, twisted story but is soon faced with losing her brothers and sisters as one by one they are sold by Luke Casteel to those in need of children, or slaves. Heaven is soon sold to a new family and things begin to look up for her, but she soon finds that the wealthy life she is sold into is no better then her life in the Willies. After a series of tragic and page turning events, Heaven finds herself in the Boston airport, seeking out her biological grandparents and a better life.

I was filled with reservation towards Heaven, unsure if I could go from the Dollenganger series and into the Casteel series. I started reading Flowers in the Attic when I was about fifteen and from there I finished Petals on the Wind and got half way through If There Be Thorns, a painful book to read which is unfortunate considering my love for her other books. When I was presented with Heaven I was unsure, after indulging in the Dollenganger family series it can be hard to transition into another family. Despite my reservations I turned the cover page and began to enter into the world of Heaven. Throughout reading this book I found myself intrigued by her world and I truly felt like what happened to Heaven Leigh Casteel was indeed happening to me. As a result I found myself hating who she hated, loving who she loved and crying when she cried. Virgnia Andrews descriptive writing is truly captivating and really brings your into her books and surround you with all the feelings and emotions felt by the protagonist. If you’re looking for an investment, more then just entertainment, then I strongly suggest you get your hands on Heaven, it is so far, one of my favourite books by Virginia Andrews, may she Rest In Peace.

Silent Pain

Dark skies, black clouds
Hanging over my head
Starry night, midnight fights
Screaming, crying, slamming doors
Is this what love is for?

Imprisoned by darkness,
Trapped inside myself
I keep screaming but no one can hear
Silence, deafening silence
The walls are closing in,
It is getting harder to breath
Help me, help me!

Light in darkness, darkness hides
Shadows lurk, midnight hurts
Lonely feelings, sinking deeper
Inside my mind it hurts

Cast your shadows, hide in the dark
Seek no help, no lives lost
No lives but one, but no one cares
A little line, a bit of blood
Scars tell stories of strength that lost
Handful of pills, stomach cramps
Sleep till morning, they’ll find me dead.

(so this is my first ever proper poem. Sorry it’s a bit dark, literally the first things that came to my mind…maybe I should get help)

I’m a broken girl!

This has something that has tormented me for a while. But after watching Lisa Schwarts (Lisbug) on YouTube and viewing her Two Broken Girls videos and her Trying Girly Products videos I have realised how terrible I am at being a girl. I’m not a very skilled person, I wouldn’t even say I’m doing a good job with this blog but I do not do well at being a girl. Of course, I’d hate to be a boy so I gotta deal with what I have but Society’s perception of women has made it difficult to be a woman and women (I hate to say it) are the ones perpetuating the stereotypes that girls like me struggle with. Who’s the one writing Cosmo or Women’s Weekly? And who are the ones buying them?

My first fail at being a girl is of course how I dress. Since being with someone I’ve liked to dress up more in dresses but before now I have never been one to wear dresses and I hate the colour pink. I wouldn’t say I’m terrible at my makeup but I don’t own much and rarely use it all, if any. I’m not one for fashion magazines or reality TV shows. I much prefer horror or mystery books and the News. I don’t play with my hair much (despite changing its colour) and I wouldn’t know the first thing to do with it. I love cars and am learning more and more about engines and how they run, I don’t file my nails endlessly and I don’t spend my time painting them. I’m not saying all women do, but that’s the stereotype. I am not a girly girl.

After looking over all these facts and questioning my life, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am happy not conforming to the stereotypes put on me by women’s magazines and ultimately by women. I am happy reading my books, watching News and learning about cars. I’ll be happy in my big car (when I can drive) and I am happy in the body God gave me. I don’t need to know all the skills about make up, fashion and hair and neither do you. Just because you don’t like it or can’t figure it out doesn’t mean you’re a bad girl or not a girl at all. It just means you are exactly as God made you.

Sincerely,

A broken girl.